Stan’s message to complicated Little People

This is a monologue from Stan, the T-Rex in Manchester Museum, UK.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here before God (and Stan ho ho) …” 

HO! HO HO! lovey dovey misguided midgets many times? I am not “Stan” and you, Mr Nurdy-dino-guy wedding guest sneering at me – yeah you! Holstering your little dinosaur “facts” like you’re some intellectual gunslinger.

Well ponder this my little man: if I have a soul ? Do you think I have a soul?   I’m in dinosaur after-life idiot. It’s glorious. My my! I’m not even tied to Hell Creek anymore and we (yes we ) hunt everywhere now.  Including here, I’m looking right at you.

Idiots are the same with my bones. They think digging them up is the same as capturing me. Hilarious.

Where do you people learn about the motherfu- did some body bleep me? Well BLEEP this tiny little people of tiny little minds: I had no name in my first life and I have no name in this one. I’m just your DEATH. In all lives. For all life.

So enjoy your “Wedding with Stan”.  Run run run around, frantically following the “little people” rules.  Having your little revolution, wooo scary same sex weddings.  Y’all taste the same.

Oh…here it is:

“…speak now or forever hold your peace”

Dissenting losers save your breath. The lovely couple will be in here again in a month – just separately.  Whining along with the all the other little whinersEverybody ends up in here).   Looking at me like I have the solution to: “Why did she do that to me?” “I wish I was dead.”  It’s a little ironic and actually a little disappointing that in front of THE planet’s iconic killer you can’t summon up something a little deeper than a death wish to sort out your little problem.

Well dearly beloved, you kinda are. Dead I mean. In my world, you died at your wedding.  When I ate you. Well, most of you. “Sue”  stole a leg.  Hah is that scavenging or hunting? Well you go chew on that. Oh LOVE this bit:

“…I do. ….I do.”

I DO too honey!…I do do do promise to love you to pieces, tiny little pieces.

Thing is, complicated little people. What if, you end up in my simple world? Now there’s a thought to inspire perspective. Hey, on that note, here comes the photo bit.  Its just perfect when you all bunch up, its more like a meal that way, you know…a real wedding feast. Hey, enjoy the day.



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